How to use this
Why practising out loud changes things
Why this exists
Planning a hard conversation in your head is not the same as having it. You can know exactly what you want to say and still lose the thread the moment the other person reacts. Emotion is the part you can't predict, and normally you only get one go, for real, when it matters. This is somewhere to do it first, as many times as you like, with nothing at stake.
What people use it for
The conversations you can't rehearse with anyone else, because they're too sensitive to repeat or there's nobody who could play the other side.
- Telling someone at work something they won't want to hear
- Asking for a raise, a promotion, or to leave a role
- A political or religious disagreement you've been putting off
- A panel or interview where you know the hard question is coming
How to get the most out of it
The rehearsal is only as real as the picture you give it.
- 1
Set the scene
What's happened, what's been said already, and what you want out of it.
- 2
Say who they are
Their role, how they relate to you, how they behave when challenged. Someone who goes cold is a different conversation from someone who raises their voice.
- 3
Say where you think they stand
This matters most. You usually know what they'll say back, and that's the bit making you nervous. Write it down. It's what turns a generic exchange into the conversation you're actually dreading.
Keep it specific
Conversations are short on purpose. Describe it, talk it through, read the feedback, then go again a different way. The value is in the repetition, so pick one specific moment rather than an entire debate.