Guides for difficult conversations at work
Work conversations go wrong less because people pick the wrong words and more because the other person reacts in a way they hadn't pictured. Each guide below gives you the words, the likely pushback, and somewhere to say it out loud first.
- How do I tell my manager I have too much work?Say what you already own with dates, name the clash between two commitments, and ask your manager which one moves. Example phrases, likely pushback and what to avoid.
- How do I give someone difficult feedback?Name one specific behaviour, say the effect it had, and agree what changes. Example phrases, the reactions to expect and the mistakes that make feedback land badly.
- How do I disagree with my manager without damaging the relationship?Challenge the reasoning rather than the person, frame your concern as a risk to something they already care about, and say you will back the decision either way.
- How do I ask my manager for a pay rise?Ask for a specific number, justify it with the scope you now carry and the market rate, and agree a date for a decision. Example phrases and how to handle a no.